- Shot of the stones is too long. We get that it is stones and I can hear you have included a SFX but simply pause then within a second Ryma steps in, would be more effective.
- Almost a jump shot to when the hockey stick is introduced. Feet seem to be in a different position and the cut alludes and tracts attention towards the error.
- 0.35- shadow on the wall. Although not a vital importance, this could also show lack of 3 point lighting technique. Obviously going to be some shadow from normal lighting but this is too much.
- Phone call SFX- Volume is too loud doesn't sound like a mobile phone.
- Cut Alex during phone call is too quick. Change cut.
- When Ryma picks up the teddy to be-head it, we lose the top of the teddys head in the frame. We partially miss the point of focus on the teddy. (i.e. to pull its head off), because of the framing.
- 1.10 Jump MOA. Alex walking throughout he door, is not smooth.
- Voice over doesn't mae sense. it is too much like he is actually talking and his lips are just not moving. You need to add effects to the voice ego try and convince us that it is a voice over.
- Looks as if alex is speaking when he is in Ryma's room, but unsure whether it is the voiceover or alex actually speaking aloud. His lips don't move then they do a little bit- IT"S CONFUSING!"
- Alex picks up the picture of him and Ryma, don't pan to the picture.
Some of the feedback we received, we cannot re-do like (e.g the re-filming) due to our actor not being available to re-film. However over the past few days we've been working on the sound, re-colouring and re-edit of the film. Hopefully it will all work out and be worth it.
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